Being a mommy is like being on a rollercoaster that never ends!!

WHEW!!!!....How come no one ever told me that being a mommy could be so rewarding, stressful, emotional, frustrating, and wonderful at the same time?!? The past 2 weeks have been harder than any "job" I could ever imagine....it's a shame we don't get paid (money), cause us moms would make a KILLIN'!! However; our rewards are so much more precious than any amount of money.

Over the past 2 weeks, Abby has had a stomach bug, a rash that's been diagnosed as some rare disease, a high fever, stomach pains, a bloody nose, and now congestion!!! It's probably all my fault, because I'm always bragging that Abby never gets sick.....I'll never make that claim again! But what makes the past 2 weeks so hard on me is not the fact that I've had to devote so much attention to her, take her to the doctor, make sure she's taking the proper medication, getting her to rest, or listening to her whine....it's the fact that I am worried SICK about her!! But that's just me....I worry about EVERYTHING....always have! It's defly not something I'm proud of. I actually feel guilty and convicted about it everyday. "Do not worry about anything; instead pray about everything"....that's what the Lord tells me to do. Why, Why, Why is that so hard for me to do?!? (prayer request!). But this is my precious baby girl we're talking about. I hateeeee to see her hurting. Especially when I have no idea what's going on, and of course always assume the absolute worst! But worrying about things has always been my biggest struggle throughout life, and I hope one day I'll get to the point in my spiritual life where I'll just learn to trust the Lord 100% in all areas of life. So, I guess this post has become a confession of my biggest weakness so that maybe somebody will help hold me accountable.

Well...I have scheduled Abby a doctor's appointment for this Thursday (April 2) at 10:30. We're trying a new doctor in McComb due to reasons I'll not discuss. I'm just wanting someone to check her out and make sure there is nothing serious going on in her little body. Would yall please pray that we'll get a good report on Thursday, and that if there is something wrong with her, that God would heal her? And maybe also pray for me.....that I'll stop worrying so much, and just trust that God is in control.

One more thing...I went to "my" doctor last Tuesday and got a good report. We were able to hear the heartbeat again, and it was 160! I go back in tomorrow for the genetic disorder testing, and then we go back April 13th to find out the sex!!!!!!!! AND....I started feeling some little flutters a couple days ago. It's one of the best feelings in the world :) Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy.

Thank yall so much for following my blog, and just letting me vent on a regular basis :) I will continue to keep yall updated throughout the next few doctor appointments.

a saved sinner,
Tonya

Spring Break 2009....One of a kind!

Well, here I am....back at work....after being off for 10 days straight!! I've really been dreading this day, but with alot of prayer -God has adjusted my attitude, and today has been really good so far!! So, anyways...let's rewind to 10 days ago, when Spring Break started for me. I had such big plans in mind, and just thought that the next 10 days would be nothing but fun in the sun! HA!!!!!!!!!...not quite!

Friday morning at 5:30 am, Abby sat straight up in the bed and with no warning, threw up everywhere! I just sat there in shock. #1, because it was so early...#2, because she had never thrown up before! So...we cleaned up the mess, got on the couch, and just started watching cartoons. To make a long story short....she threw up 2 more times, and the second time was BAD!....all over me, all over the couch, all over her, all over the floor....and what do I do? Yupp, I immediately started throwing up (but luckily I made it to the toilet!). So, we took a nap and woke up in much better spirits. I still ended up taking her to the doctor, but by then, she was 100% better! Thank God!! So...that was our first day of Spring Break! LOV-EL-Y!!

Saturday, we had a birthday party to go to at 11:30. Abby seemed to be over the 5-hour stomach bug she had, so we packed up and went to the party! I'm so glad we did, because Abby had a blast. She LOVES being around friends. Here are some pics from the party:

Sunday, was just a normal day of church and laziness!! :) We went to my parent's house for dinner, and me and Abby spent the night.

And then back down hill we went...Monday morning, I woke up at 3:00am, throwing up!! I threw up from 3:00-6:00, until I just had nothing left. Thank GOD for being at my mom's house, because she was able to take care of me AND Abby...and I was able to lay in the bed until 4:00 that afternoon!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I think God allows us to get sick just so we can rest a little! So, I rolled out of bed at 4:00pm, and my mom took me and Abby home. I was feeling alot better, so we were going to go to revival at our church that night. GUESS AGAIN! I go to change Abby's diaper before we leave, and I find a rash like no other all over her legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so bad, it looked like 3rd degree burns all over her :( Well, after having her pants off for a while, the rash just went away. So, I really thought nothing else about it.

Until the next day....we went for a playdate with some friends, and when we got back home, the rash had re-appeared! I immediately took her BACK to the doctor, and to make this long story short....the doctor pretty much told me that she had some kind of rare disease that would probably just keep getting worse and worse!?!?!???!? So, I left there in a tearful panic! We had so many people praying for our sweet baby, and we literally saw the prayers at work! Her rash disappeared once again, and has not come back! I still don't really know what it was, but I do know that God took care of it...and that's all that matters!

So.....Wednesday, I decide "we are doing something fun today!!!" ha!! So, we met some friends and took the AmTrak from Brookhaven to McComb! It was about a 20 minute ride, and once we got there we ate McDonalds and then Michael came and got us and brought us back to B'haven. It was such a fabulous day!! The weather was so pretty, everyone was in a good mood, and then we had a nice nap when it was all done. Here are some pics of the day:

Thursday, we had a day of rest! I figured that everyone needed to just rest and get 100% better, mentally and physically! haha :) So, we watched movies, played outside a little, and daddy brought us lunch. I was even able to get a little sun....WOOHOO!!

Friday, Michael dropped Abby off with my parents, he went flying, and I got to go to Hattiesburg-ALL BY MYSELF-and enjoyed a full day of shopping with my best friend :) It was fabulous. I headed back home around 5:00....6 tops, 5 dresses, and 2 pair of shoes later!!

And then this past weekend was nothing but good ol' family time! We worked outside, planted flowers, played, napped, cooked out with friends, enjoyed fellowship at church, and Michael and I were even able to enjoy some alone time! Here are some pics of me and Abby planting our flowers:

So....needless to say, this was a Spring Break like no other. No beach, no vacation, not much sun, not much "rest"....but plenty of family time, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

healthy & happy,

Tonya :)

Disappointment, Worry, & Excitement!

Disappointment-

I am SO disappointed that Abby didn't make it into the Top 5 of Regis & Kelly's cutest baby contest! I mean....WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?!? I'm pretty sure that Abby is the #1 Cutest Baby, so they must have just misplaced her picture!!! Haha....just kidding! Yes, I am disappointed that she didn't make it, and I DO think she is (by far) the cutest child in the world....but I'll try not to be a psycho mom in the meantime! haha! I mean, they DID get around 30284089324 pictures submitted, and I'm sure Abby's cute little face just got lost in the crowd....but WE know that she should've won. And that's all that matters. :) So, on that note...here are some pictures of Abby that we took this weekend, and one of Abby with her 2 best friends from Hatti:

Worry-

Some days I wonder if I'll ever stop worrying about this pregnancy and just relax??? I really try to just trust the Lord with it, but I guess it's just my human nature to worry about this precious baby! Every little pain and discomfort gets me in a frenzy. It's a wonder Dr. Mills and his nurse haven't kicked me out as a patient, from worrying them to death with my petty concerns and random questions! haha!! Some days I really do have a peace about it, but some days I worry myself sick. I have decided that alot of this has to do with the fact that I have just not been in the Word like I need to be. So...my best friend and I started "The Frazzled Female" Bible study today, and we are going to hold eachother accountable and pray for eachother on a daily basis. I know that I'll find peace once I dig into the Word every day, and have someone to keep me accountable. I'm really excited about all that God is going to do through this study! But please keep me in your prayers as I struggle daily with my thoughts of this pregnancy. I go March 24th for a check up, so I'll keep everyone updated.

Excitement-

Not only am I excited about starting this frazzled female study, but I am also ECSTATIC about our family vacation to.....DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of Michael's friends is dating "Sleeping Beauty", so she has been nice enough to get us some discounts on a Disney resort and all our tickets! Michael and I decided that we just couldn't pass this up, for several reasons: 1) this entire trip is going to cost us half of what it normally would, 2) this will probably be our last BIG trip with just Abby, before the baby is born, 3) Abby is obsessed with everything Disney right now....Mickey Mouse, Handy Manny, Winnie the Pooh, all the princesses, etc. So, we decided to just splurge and go for it! I was raised in a single parent home, but my mom always splurged and did big & fun things for me and my sister. So, I want to do that for Abby. We are in the process of saving every bit of extra money right now so we can pay off all our debt by June. So, in reality this probably isn't the smartest thing to do since it will take away some of our savings....but family fun definitley comes first! :) We leave April 16th and will stay 5 nights. I've got SO much to do and plan before we leave....it's gets me excited just thinking about it!!! If anyone has any "Disney tips" please let me know.

in search of peace,

Tonya

Just exhausted.....

I'm really no good at this blogging thing. I don't ever really have anything exciting to say, and I haven't been good at posting pics!!! Maybe it's just because I've been so exhuasted lately. I was sick every day for 2 months. Now, let me start off by saying that I was extremely thankful for the sickness, because it assured me that everything was okay with the baby....but it wore me out-physically & mentally! I think I'm over the sickness part (for now), but now I have the sinus crud! And when I say crud I mean: drainage (which is making me sick), and sinus pressure so extreme that I think my eyes could pop out of my head at any moment!!!!!!!!! But I guess it could be worse....I could have the flu, or the stomach virus, or my precious baby girl could be sick....yes, it could definitley be worse! However, I'm just ready to feel like myself again. I know in reality, I probably won't be "myself" for another 8 months or more....but maybe just a full 24 hours of feeling good would be nice! And it's not just me that's suffering....poor Michael! He really has been such a good sport, but I am making it very difficult. I just feel a little more naggy and irritable than usual, and I know it's about to drive him up the wall. Do you know HOW I know it's driving him up the wall?....because he put himself on the prayer list Sunday at church! Bahahahahahaha :) But you know my thoughts on that....if women have to go through pregnancy and labor, then the least the men could do is PUT UP WITH OUR HORMONES! LoL! So...maybe this blog was just a chance for me to vent: I'm tired (exhausted actually), I'm irritable, I'm sick, I don't want to be social, I need a tan, I need new clothes (that fit), I'm empty (spiritually), but most of all...I am thankful! Through the daily bad attitudes and exhaustion, I try to constantly thank God for this miracle inside of me. I know that all these things are just a part of pregnancy, so if God needs me to go through this in order to have a healthy pregnancy, then....Bring the Rain! But as I let this rain pour down on me...just keep me in your prayers. I just need strength to make it through daily routine (which the Lord has provided each and every day, and I couldn't make it through a full 24 hours without His help), and I need a positive attitude.

Thanks for visiting my blog....sorry I'm not better at posting pictures....but I do have a couple sonogram pics from last week that I want to share. And I'll try to take some updated ones of Abby to share too :)

Tired, but Thankful,

Tonya